One on One
Ephesians
5:22-33
Building a
relationship with our husbands is mirrored by the relationship we build with
our Father. Where is your relationship with the Father? Where is your
relationship with your husband? Can your God and your husband trust you with
the intimate things or the things close to their heart? This isn’t to say that
things are going this way due to it being your fault; it’s just to put things
in alignment or perspective.
As we read
Eph 5:22-23, we see how the bride (the church) and the bridegroom (Christ) are supposed
to be and Paul relates it to how our marriages are supposed to be. There are
guidelines on how the husband is to behave and how the wife is supposed to
behave. A lot of marriages are failing in this area; either the husband isn’t
loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her or the wife
is not submitting and reverencing her husband.
There are some husbands loving
every other female (who’s looking for commitment and don’t care how or who she
hurts to get it) instead of the woman he married, treating them like they’re
back in the cavemen days, or being mama’s boy. Then in the same lump you have
some women who do not submit to their husbands at all because they don’t feel
like they should have to because they aren’t saved, talking to them any kind of
way in front of other people and in public, thinking they are his momma instead
of his wife or running around on their husbands with other men (who don’t want
the commitment by the way, just a screw). How does any marriage expect to make
it if this is the gist of it? How are couples supposed to build their
relationship with these actions (which I only listed a few)?
It’s time to
build our relationships with God FIRST then with our husbands. It’s time to
deal with the dysfunction(s) in our marriages in a tasteful, respectful and
orderly way. This is not the time to throw stones. It is a time to tell each
other how we feel about the treatment we’ve been receiving. Time is out for
throwing things under the rug. It’s time to deal with the skeletons in the
closet so we can change the way our marriages are functioning. My husband and I
often have these talks. We ask each other questions like these from time to
time: 1) How are we doing (in our marriage)? 2) Is there anything I can be
doing better? 3) Have I offended you or caused you offense? 4) How is our sex
life? 5) What are some things I do that gets on your nerves?
After we ask
these questions, it opens up a great dialogue. Sometimes it’s great and
sometimes it hurts but in the end it’s better for the both of us. We apologize
to each other (if and when it’s needed), we laugh about things we said and we
handle it in a serious matter. We also have the discussions about our
relationship with God. Just like we have to “get it right” with our husbands,
we have to “get it right” with our Father. We can’t treat our husbands better
than we treat God and they can’t treat us better than they treat God. IT DOES
NOT WORK! Build your relationship with God and in turn He will tell you how to
build a SUCCESSFUL relationship with your husband. I’ve seen Him to do it. Be
blessed and ever increasing in your marriages through Christ.
- - Keisha
Lapsley
