20 Year Marriage Celebration!!!

20 Year Celebration!

This is the month and year Doug and I will be married for 20 years. We want to celebrate differently and to share what we've learned on our 20 year journey so from Dec 1st to the 20th we will post each day. We were supposed to renew our vows this year but due to so much transition it wasn't a good time. However, we will renew our vows within a couple of years. We look to God for many, many, many more blessed and joyful years together.

Day 1

Doug and Keisha...sitting in a tree; K I S S I N G. First came love, then came 'Shon then our marriage so we didn't have to wait for the baby carriage.

What we've learned

The first year was ROUGH. I cannot tell a lie. We went through it. It was a time of laying foundational work, seeing what we would put up with, learning what respect was and deciding what was important. Our marriage began with our son already in tow though we did not plan it that way so not only did we have to learn each other on a continual basis but how to be parents as well.

I remember a huge fight we had one day. We didn't speak to each other for hours. He stayed in one room and I stayed in another. I wrote a note (as a writer does) in a tablet that said, "I wish he would deploy somewhere," and he found it. He said, "Oh, is this what you want?" It just led to another argument and deeper hurt. I really didn't want him to go to the field or deploy but I was mad. First lesson, don't say something you really don't mean because once it's out there it can't be taken back. Later on that night, still in separate rooms, a fire broke out in the apartments right across from us. We could see everything vividly...even the dead bodies being carried out in body bags . We weren't in Christ at the time but we both knew we messed up big time, especially me. I could promise God spoke to us at the same time asking "What's important?" We learned that our marriage and our love was important. We hugged each other and apologized. After that we were good. We learned what was important and it was US.

How Will You Lead?

Angry, disappointed, confused and in total awe (not in a good way) are some of the ways I feel at this moment. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to even look at the television. The outcome of the election was more than just a wake up call. It was a call to leadership. I kept silent for days because when I wrote to you, I wanted to come from a place of peace, solitude and wisdom. At first I felt like I had been "Grabbed by the BLEEP!" I mean...totally violated and disgusted. I couldn't fathom having someone being chosen who thinks even less of me than the "forefathers" who came before him, a person who is misinformed but obviously well-liked in his views amongst the people.

I am appalled by the words, "It's time to heal and come together." You cannot ask for something that you did not give. We cannot expect for people to just turn from the words he uttered over television and expect for them to hear what he has to say. We cannot expect for people to come around a campfire and sing "Kumbaya" as if some of the most hurtful words were not said. He "apologized" but never turned away his thoughts concerning certain people. It's like a husband I hear many wives cry about...they say..."He said he was sorry but he keeps doing the same thing. How can he love me when he won't stop doing what he's doing?" How can the healing begin when he was the one who caused the divide? If you want us as a people to come together than the healing starts when you stand up for the people who were attacked by words OUT OF HIS OWN MOUTH. No one is going to join you arm in arm when they can't trust you.

Personally, I've seen Christians of a different race than my own not stand up for anything that concerned another race because they feel like it's "their own fault" and are "animals". However, I have seen them talk bad about our current president. They want us to pray for our elect but they didn't drop down on neither of their knees to pray for our current president. Do you know how I know? Because you can't rise up from prayer with a pure heart and spew hate words about him when you get up off your knees. Any Christian with any real foundation knows that will totally undo your prayer. They didn't pray for him but they complained about him. I never once saw them stand up for him and his family when they were called EVERYTHING from ni**er to monkeys and totally degraded his wife and talked trash about their young girls. CHILDREN!!! They talked about CHILDREN!!! They never said that was wrong. They never said "This isn't the way." They never said anything! Yet, we are supposed to heal and come together when they never stood up for ANYTHING and was apart of the division in our country. They talked about him and came against him every chance they got. That's what they stood for. They stood for division. They stood for racism. They stood for lack of justice. Then had the nerve to tell me at times, "Don't let them divide us." No! It is YOU that stood for division when you decided to keep your mouth closed, to not stand up for what is right and not to care about a fellow American's life! It's a privilege not to have to fight everyday because of who you are...well we don't know that life. Lucky you.
I had someone I considered a friend once who has now been downgraded to "yeah, I know her." At every opportunity she'd inbox me or comment on my post when I posted something she didn't like. Now mind you, I never did that to her but then again I never had to because she never had to...until the election. I was floored! This is what she decided to stand for and never once did I inbox her or comment on her post about her opinion, her choice. Hey, to each his own. I can't tell someone else how to feel or what to think. That is not who we are as Americans however when you finally come out of the closet to stand for something this is what you stand for? During the election campaign, we've had major cases where men have been found guilty of rape but still got off. On top of that saying that jail time will ruin their lives. How about the lives of the woman they ruined? But you don't stand for that!?! Oooh...uhhh...sigh...I digress. As a woman, I cannot stand with someone who thinks women are nothing but trophies to be conquered and won. I cannot consciously stand with a man who degrades women and has no respect for them. Hey, but if his wife likes it, I love it. In the words of Tupac, "I Ain't Mad at Cha."

I guess by now you assume that I'm a Hillary Clinton supporter. NOPE! I didn't care for nor like either candidate. November 8, 2016 at the polls was the saddest day ever when it came to elections but I had the birthday of my baby girl to lift my spirits. I remember vividly finishing up voting and walking away with a sadness in my heart, so much so that tears filled my eyes. I sat at that booth for what seemed like a life time on the first page. I battled with walking away and forsaking it all. I went back and forth for minutes in my head. I just stared at the page not knowing what to do but one thing for certain I knew what I couldn't do. Many walked away from the polls rejoicing but my spirit wouldn't allow me to do so. I don't know how so many walked away with joy. It befuddles me. How can one thing bring someone else so much joy while a deep sorrow affects another? I guess we will never know.


We all handle disappointment in different ways. When the new elect-President was announced there was a lot of disappointed people. Some took to social media to display their feelings, some took to the streets in protest, some burned the American flag, some made plans to move elsewhere, some graciously accepted defeat and some took to Jesus sayings. I'm not against protesting but I am against violent protesting and the burning of the flag. If you don't want to stand for the National Anthem that's one thing but to burn the flag is another. I'm not against people speaking their mind but I am against people speaking hate-filled words. Again, we can't tell people how to feel but we can suggest doing it the right way. Let your voice be heard where it will make a difference. Let your actions be done in a way that is heard around the world and honored for how it was done.

Staying silent, not speaking up for injustice speaks very loudly and shows where your allegiance lies. I don't bite my tongue on wrong doings but where I bit is sequential. We have to use wisdom in all that we do but it's only right to be heard. I've decided, not to take it to Facebook and not to let it end here on this blog but to let my voice be heard on Capitol Hill, within the Senate, at the table of the House of Representatives, within my own community and teaching my children about who they are in depth (not just what they want them to know).

I will honor the Spirit of God that is within me and do as I am instructed concerning the upcoming president. My ears are to heaven and my knees are to the ground and my hands are lifted in praise. I will live at peace with all men but it doesn't mean I trust you or desire to build a friendship with you. I will help where needed and with a pure heart. I will commit my works to the Lord and serve Him gladly, wherever that may lead.

What is your call to action? Will you just be mad and rant and rave for a few days or will you use that anger in a greater way and lead your community in victory? Words are fleeting but actions are solid and builds ground for generations to come. Take your money from the ones who care nothing about you and put it in your community and bring it to life. God will sustain and cause us to thrive as He does other cultures but we have to lead the way. Give our Lord and Savior something to work with instead of lip service.

Happy Prophet

When we read about the prophets in the Bible, they are not these "happy" prophets we see today. Sadly, I'm reminded of this every time God shows me a vision, dream or gives me a prophecy. I used to wonder why the prophets wept, were sad all the time, fearful in some instances and depressed. Well...I don't have wonder that anymore.

People think it is good to receive a prophecy and it can be but most of the time when a word is spoken in a one on one session it's usually a word of knowledge or conformation. Prophecy is edification of the church, yes but it's also about warning. There aren't many that talk about that. We as prophets have led a many astray because we prophecy out of our own being. We give the people a word but do not break down the severity of what it all means and what you will go through to receive that prophecy.

As a prophetess myself, I get wrapped up in the carnality of the words said to me in a prophecy, word of knowledge and or conformation because of what I longed to hear. However, I am quickly snatched back into the reality of being a seer and mouthpiece of God while going through the path on the way to the prophecy.

When a prophecy is given, consider the cost of it. Someone was sent to you to give a word, that cost them. Most prophecies doesn't come overnight 90% of the time. There are very few prophecies that are a quick turnaround. There isn't a rhyme or reason to it; it's just what it is. Some prophecies takes a few months and a lot of the time years. We have to be prepared and condition for most prophecies. We don't know what it's going to take to get there.

I've had a few in my time and every time without fail I have went through some hard times just to attain the blessing. By the time I got it, in some instances I was ecstatic and other times I was to weary to enjoy it.

A prophet/prophetess isn't normally "happy". I'm not saying we should be running around with a frown and our lip dragging on the ground. Whether we are giving or receiving a prophecy it doesn't always bring a smile to our faces. We endure a lot sometimes when it comes to giving someone a word because it's not always favorable. I have to tell you, sometimes I'm not at all pleased with the gift of prophecy; to be honest, it's a hard thing sometimes and I just want to walk away. Then I remember who I belong to and how much He loves us all so I endure it anyway. Majority of the time the people were very receptive and accepted it which far outweighed the ones that didn't and looked at me crazy. It can be depressing at times and even a little fearful but that's when we have to trust in God just a little bit more.

Study the prophets of the Bible and watch their lives (when they are alone or with God), a lot of the times their tone changes. I know I understand by being on both sides of the fence. No matter if we are giving the prophecy or receiving one, be ready to count the cost.

Internet Sensation

I had an interesting morning. Out of the blue God began speaking with me about sensations and substance. I don't know where the thought came from as I wasn't even thinking along those lines. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for the shared thoughts my Father had with me. 

Substance: the real physical matter of which a person or thing consists and which has a tangible, solid presence.

Sensation: a physical feeling or perception resulting from something that happens to or comes into contact with the body. 2 a widespread reaction of interest and excitement.

Keep these definitions in mind as we go on this journey together. Abba simply said, "Everyone is striving to be an internet sensation verses being a person of substance." I thought to myself, "Hmmm...go on." Then He began to break it all the way down for me. He said, "Sensation is nothing but a feeling and is short lived. It eventually fizzes out but substance is something tangible, solid and is matter which is something we can hold on to." 

In the world we live in today, many people here and abroad are humiliating themselves, performing crazy challenges, demeaning themselves just to be an overnight sensation. They don't care how they look because all they see is the attention they are getting. In turn they continue to over and beyond to top the last big thing they did...but at what cost? Is money really worth it your dignity? All an internet sensation will be known as what they did to get there, nothing more and nothing less. A sensation is just that, a feeling and feelings are fleeting. What then?

I tell you what then, SUBSTANCE. Sensationalism will bow down to substance EVERY time. There's no way around it. Substance is lasting and is a particle within the nucleus to make a thing exactly what it is, a solid presence. It's going to mean more. It's going to lift someone up verses tickling their fancy. In the end, it will help them and you won't have to degrade yourself and lose your dignity to get it accomplished.
Substance is everything. Sensations are only for a moment. Both feel good but only one has a lasting effect. 

Heart 2 Heart Blessings!

Counterfeits

God says...
"This is a very crucial time for My people. Things they have prayed for are coming but there will be a counterfeit first. The enemy wants to distort the blessings I have for My people so he’s bringing distractions at a greater rate and counterfeits to confuse them; but just know that My blessings adds and brings no sorrow with it. My blessings are sure and exact. Don’t rush into anything or what “seems” to be a blessing! Pray about every encounter, every move, every person that is introduced to you. What may seem like Me isn’t. My connections are divine. My appointments are sure. My timing is perfect. You will be unsettled in your Spirit when this counterfeit comes but it will be subtle as it would try to disguise itself as confusion, fear, doubt or even joy (yes joy -  meaning you’re so happy your season is finally here/that your storm is over). None of that is from Me. When I bless you there will be a peace in your Spirit. Don’t let the false joy or happiness overcloud your peace. Taking this counterfeit blessing without acknowledging Me will set you back or make you miss it completely. Don’t wait for another opportunity when you could have the blessing and movement I have coming your way.”