Marriage: One on One

One on One

Ephesians 5:22-33

Building a relationship with our husbands is mirrored by the relationship we build with our Father. Where is your relationship with the Father? Where is your relationship with your husband? Can your God and your husband trust you with the intimate things or the things close to their heart? This isn’t to say that things are going this way due to it being your fault; it’s just to put things in alignment or perspective. 

As we read Eph 5:22-23, we see how the bride (the church) and the bridegroom (Christ) are supposed to be and Paul relates it to how our marriages are supposed to be. There are guidelines on how the husband is to behave and how the wife is supposed to behave. A lot of marriages are failing in this area; either the husband isn’t loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her or the wife is not submitting and reverencing her husband. 

There are some husbands loving every other female (who’s looking for commitment and don’t care how or who she hurts to get it) instead of the woman he married, treating them like they’re back in the cavemen days, or being mama’s boy. Then in the same lump you have some women who do not submit to their husbands at all because they don’t feel like they should have to because they aren’t saved, talking to them any kind of way in front of other people and in public, thinking they are his momma instead of his wife or running around on their husbands with other men (who don’t want the commitment by the way, just a screw). How does any marriage expect to make it if this is the gist of it? How are couples supposed to build their relationship with these actions (which I only listed a few)? 

It’s time to build our relationships with God FIRST then with our husbands. It’s time to deal with the dysfunction(s) in our marriages in a tasteful, respectful and orderly way. This is not the time to throw stones. It is a time to tell each other how we feel about the treatment we’ve been receiving. Time is out for throwing things under the rug. It’s time to deal with the skeletons in the closet so we can change the way our marriages are functioning. My husband and I often have these talks. We ask each other questions like these from time to time: 1) How are we doing (in our marriage)? 2) Is there anything I can be doing better? 3) Have I offended you or caused you offense? 4) How is our sex life? 5) What are some things I do that gets on your nerves?

After we ask these questions, it opens up a great dialogue. Sometimes it’s great and sometimes it hurts but in the end it’s better for the both of us. We apologize to each other (if and when it’s needed), we laugh about things we said and we handle it in a serious matter. We also have the discussions about our relationship with God. Just like we have to “get it right” with our husbands, we have to “get it right” with our Father. We can’t treat our husbands better than we treat God and they can’t treat us better than they treat God. IT DOES NOT WORK! Build your relationship with God and in turn He will tell you how to build a SUCCESSFUL relationship with your husband. I’ve seen Him to do it. Be blessed and ever increasing in your marriages through Christ.

-         - Keisha Lapsley