Lonely Graves

Doug and I have been married for 18 plus years with 3 children and I have NEVER missed a Resurrection Sunday with my family...EVER...until today. I had to leave out of town for a family emergency and it happened to fall on Resurrection weekend. My second oldest asked me before I left, "Mama, are you coming back for Easter?" I told him that I didn't know but most likely I would not be. Then last night I talked to Doug and he said the same child said, "It doesn't feel like Easter without mama." I went to bed thinking that it does feel strange because as I stated before, I've never been absent without my family on Resurrection day. Nevertheless, God had different plans for me.

This weekend has been very heavy but God has been kept my mind, my soul, my body and my Spirit. I wanted to be sure that I mentioned how heavy this weekend is because I want to make sure to portray that my family emergency isn't the reason I am feeling the way I'm feeling. It's Jesus! It's all Him! He is the reason for my worship. He is the reason for my tears.

I woke up this morning to my auntie moving around the house getting ready to go to Sunrise Service. We were set to leave at 5:30am but didn't head out until about 6am. When we entered the church house, it took me back to when I would go to this same church with my grandma, brother, cousins and aunties'. It always feels that way. The praise team set the atmosphere. Worship was in the air and I so needed that because of everything I was going through.

As the pastor got up to speak, it was already evident that God had a word and His presence was definitely there. He began to speak about all that Jesus had done and went on to the cross. While he was preaching (a good word at that), he mentioned about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and paralleling it to us individually; it was then God began to speak a revelation to me.

Abba, began to show me that whenever you go through a resurrection it's always a lonely place. When something/someone is actually dead and placed in a tomb no one else is buried with it or you. It is You, Yourself, By Yourself. It's a lonely grave for the dead things in our lives and sometimes we feel like we are in a grave by ourselves.

As I mentioned beforehand, I have never spent time away from my family on Resurrection day. Even though I was feeling some type of way about it; God had something special in store for me. He let me know that sometimes, when you need to be resurrected, He has to get you by yourself, alone. I love my family and I like the church we attend but it was wonderful getting back to my roots. I hadn't felt resurrected in quite some time. It's been such a dry spell for me. I've endured a lot and didn't know how to get back up though I tried it all. Although I had people around me who loved me, in some instances, I still felt alone. I didn't understand my relationship with the Christ, the Anointed One.

The grave is a dark place, cold, hollow, deep, scary and most of all lonesome. Where is the comfort in the grave? Where is the love? Where is the understanding? We have to know that all of that is there in spite of what's going on around us. I had really been down...for a long time. I'd been searching for the One they called Jesus to come a save me from all that I was going through. Today, I ran into Him and talked with Him as He healed my mind, my heart. He met me at the same "tomb" Lazarus was buried in and called me forth. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop worshiping. I couldn't stop lifting up my hands in awe of Him. It wasn't what I was going through that had me in tears. It was the gratefulness of the resurrection in me. He loves me enough to call me out of that dark place. Now I can walk around in
total victory in Christ Jesus.

I hear the Spirit of the Lord saying right now, "Don't worry about the grave you're in because Jesus is coming to RESURRECT you. He's going to call you forth and you shall walk around others with the victory as proof Jesus is real and He is powerful enough to call you from the grave."

Our God is Awesome! Our God is Great! There is no one like Him! None on this earth! Give Him praise and yell Hallelujah!

Blessed be the name of our Lord and Savior in the highest! Have a beautiful resurrection!

Infirmity, Healing and Grace

On my way to one of my favorite places to write and drink a latte, I ended up behind this vehicle that had a license plate number on it and it reminded me of a scripture. God has mysterious ways to reach out to me. I love it! I'm sure this guy had not one thought that his license plate was in form of a scripture. After I sat down, I looked up the scripture before I began writing. The scripture didn't speak to me and I was like, "Okay God, I know you wanted me to go here. What's going on?" He then spoke and said, "I want you to read the whole chapter." Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Got it! I started writing and said to myself that I would read it later because I really had to get some work done. Well, it's two days later and I'm just now reading the scripture.

As I start from the beginning of John chapter 5, it begins to speak to me immediately and God follows up after every scripture speaking to my heart. The beginning of John chapter 5 talks about the pool of Bethesda and the impotent man who had the infirmity for 38 years.

Jesus approached the man and asked him will he be made whole and the guy came up with all kinds of excuses, which were valid (especially to him) of why he isn't whole. He had avoided Jesus' question. Why? Did he not believe? Did he feel like he deserved his condition? I ask that because Jesus told him later in the temple to go and sin no more unless a worse thing comes upon him. Had he become comfortable in the condition? Did he become familiar with the infirmity? There are a lot of questions that arises as to why he avoided Jesus' question. Nevertheless, no matter how he felt about any of it, Jesus could have cared less. All he wanted to know is if the man wanted to be healed.

Jesus never responded to his excuses. He just said, "Rise, take up your bed and walk." He took away ALL of the man's excuses.

What excuses are you making for staying in the state that you're in that you're not even sure if you still want to be in? Jesus doesn't care how you got here; He wants you healed and to sin no more. All of us who has been addicted to something at one time or another can attest to wanting to stay in the sin and yet feeling enough disgrace to want to get out of it. We know it's not good for us but we keep going after it. Why? It's a force stronger than ourselves that is pulling us. We've admitted to it, ask for help for it and really try to come out of it and yet find ourselves back in it. Part of us enjoy it because of the temporal pleasures of it and what it takes us away from while the other half desperately wants to let it go. Something has to break. Something has to give. Will it be the infirmity we break or give ourselves over to it?

Choices, we all have choices to make. When we make a choice to do something or have a made up mind, we put things in place to keep us from the addiction. If we do not choose to break the addiction it will manifest into an infirmity. We have to choose to break the addiction. We have to choose a better way for ourselves. We have to choose to take responsibility. We have to choose not to find a cowardly medical way out of it...
Side Note: We always want to look for a name for something we're dealing with and attach it to us. A name to attach itself is very dangerous. Once we give it a name it becomes a living organism, whether physical or metaphorically and anything that is living contains power to do exactly what it's designed and named to do. Also, in naming something or finding a name for it is nothing more than a scapegoat. The scapegoat takes the blame and all of the responsibility which leaves the recipient free from anything they've done and or will do in the future. Back to the message...
Once we decide to choose to let the addiction go, it is then we are free. It's not saying we won't make another mistake but it is saying that we've decided to bring Jesus into our lives, our mess and help us out of the situation. It all starts with a choice.

When we have made the choice to invite Jesus in and allow him to heal us, we move from God's mercy to the Father's grace. When Jesus says for us to Rise, Take Up our Bed and Walk then we need to choose to do just that and walk out our healing. There are those who believe that we shouldn't walk around proclaiming that we are blessed because of what we've done and the kind of life we lived. They will fight our healing, our deliverance. It will be the ones closest to us because they're the ones we hurt the most and felt majority of the impact. It will also be the ones who have preached healing to us and then still hang our past over our heads. It will also be us because we will condemn ourselves for being happy but we don't have to because Jesus has set us free! We have the right to be happy and the grace to live it.

Rise! Take up your bed and Walk!

High School Love

Church service was good today and spoke to my heart. Pastor talked about loving our enemies coming from the book of Luke. He also addressed making a choice, a decision to choose the way of the Lord or continue in your own way.

The sermon lead to me mentioning to my husband something that happened earlier this week that blew my mind (and not in a good way). All I could say to the matter was, "Lawd, take the wheel because I can't." Doug had to take our oldest to work and I took myself and the other two to church and he was going to meet up with us later on. Needless to say, we drove two separate vehicles. I just wanted to be sure I was clear to go into the subject that I want to share with you today.

When service was over, my husband and I walked together to the truck and I gave the keys to my second oldest to drive us home (since he asked before walking into church). He walked ahead of me and Doug which gave us a chance to talk and to share with him what was on my mind. When I told him what happened, he just laughed and gave his insight on what he thought about the situation.

As we were approaching the truck, he informed me that he was parked at the other parking lot and he was just walking me to my truck. Outside I didn't make a facial expression but inside I was like a gitty school girl whose boyfriend walked her to class even if it made him late to his and was out of his way. I thought to myself, "I still have a high school love." I just gleamed on the inside.

God knows how to make us smile and knows the right person to use to bring that smile upon our faces. I just thought I'd share this story because it meant a lot to me and maybe just maybe a husband will read this and make his wife feel like a gitty school girl too :).

The Importance of Listening

My prayer concerning my marriage is always, "Lord, show me how to minister to my husband." The prayer is always the same but how to minister changes day by day. It is so important to pray that prayer. Let me share a story with you...

Last week and part of the week before was very stressful for my husband which made things stressful in the home and it didn't help that I've been stressed out myself. I was trying to make him laugh, lure him with my feminine whiles (lol) and or just to let him be but none of it was working. I wanted to do something for him and knew something had to be done but didn't know quite what I should do.

Like I mentioned in the above statement what my prayer is always, it was on my heart more and more. God didn't speak to me like he did Moses with the burning bush or by a donkey speaking in the middle of the road; He showed me through a Facebook feed. One of the marriage ministries I'm following said, "Pack up some things and take your spouse away for the weekend!" It was that simple and I almost missed it but said to myself, "Ah, ha!" I knew what God was doing (after it dawned on me). The next day we received in the mail a coupon for 15% off a hotel room. It was then I sprung into action like Elasta-Girl (in the Incredibles Disney movie)! I began thinking of plans of where we could go and checking out the travel agent's itinerary. They had nothing (that we could do at the time). Next on my list was to check the weather and it was supposed to rain all weekend but I said, "God, I'm going to trust you with the weather" and proceeded to put my focus on a beach. I made a phone call to my sister to watch after the children and it worked out. I let our kids know what was going on and they were not to say anything due to this being a surprise. My oldest was a little bothered that I had someone staying with them because he is 18 years old. I told him to get over it (because we all know how that goes...18...alone...over the weekend...yeah right!). I am not that slow (lol).

Any who, Saturday morning came and it was perfect how I set it up to leave the house. Mind you, this is a surprise and the brotha messed it up. He got up to take our second oldest son to his school for a track meet and then he came back home and got in the bed. I was laughing to myself because this was not the plan. He said he was going to run to the store and get started on prep for the weekend dinner. Now I had to come up with some kind of way to get him out of the bed. Well, the only thing I could do was to tell him that I needed to talk to him about something important and take him out to breakfast. Relunctantly, he got up and rolled slowly out of the bed (which was messing up my time table). In the midst of everything, I managed to sneak the suitcase in the car and set everything in motion with the children.

Finally, we made it to the car and we're rolling. He asked me what I wanted to talk about and I told him that I noticed he's on edge and I wanted him to be able to talk to me and just to get it all off his chest. What in the world did I say that for!?! Because he went in (lol). As he shared what was on his mind, in his heart and on his chest I had to bite my tongue because I wasn't ready (lol)...whew...I wasn't ready but do you know what the Lord said to me? He said, "Let him vent. Let him be himself. This is ministry." I was like wow so I continued to listen and even tried to make him smile through it. After he finished we pulled up to Huddle House (even the Lord spoke to me then to go there). He orchestrated every single move, every single moment. We sat down and it was then I told him what my plans were for the weekend. He gave a smirk, placed his head in his hands and sat back. I told him he didn't have to worry about anything because I have everything taken cared of. He was so relaxed. We talked in general about things, ate then left. I told him to take a nap while I finished driving us to Jacksonville, FL. He laid his seat back, listened to MadDog Radio and went to sleep (even snored a little).

We arrived to the hotel (not the one with the percentage off but still received a discount). It was a newly opened establishment and it was nice and the customer service was good. We got up to the room and took a nap then got up and headed towards the beach. The weather was great, hot and sunny. God worked it out!

Needless to say, we had a wonderful weekend. He called me from work on the following Monday and told me to take him back to Jacksonville (lol). His whole attitude changed. The entire atmosphere changed. The temperment of the home changed. His outlook changed. His focused changed.

This is what I desire for you to understand; it's very important to listen to your spouse and God, also  to pay attention to the atmosphere of your home. It's not up to circumstances and situations to dictate our atmosphere, our marriages, our homes or family. It's up to us by listening to God and opening up a dialogue in prayer asking the Father, "Please show me how to minister to my spouse."

Words of Worship

Words of Worship

Scriptures: Psalm 91 and 89

S.O.S. (Stand Out Scriptures): Psalm 89:6

“For who in the heaven can be compared unto the LORD? Who among the sons of the mighty can be likened unto the LORD?”     

Revelation

This scripture puts me in the atmosphere of worship. Who can be compared unto the LORD? Absolutely no one! Who among the sons of men can be likened unto Him? Absolutely no one! Who is like our God? Absolutely no one! Who or what can we call on besides the LORD to save us? Absolutely no one!

The LORD is so amazing! How is it that His design is perfect?! He made us perfect. What we consider our flaws (in our looks), He considers us as His image. Why would we tamper with that?  Why is it that He allows flaws (in our character)? He wants to show us that we are not perfect so with our own imperfections we ought not judge anothers. Before He planted us in our mother’s womb He created us in the way we should be here on earth. He placed in us gifts, a calling, love and a yearning for Him always but He also knew that once we were birthed (out of the womb) we would enter into a falling world, full of sin. We left a place of perfection being made by a perfect God to be birthed into a less than perfect world. Just like Jesus, we have a job to do and he did the hardest part for us. All we have to do is look for the perfected gifts and calling that God placed in us and bring it out, causing it to manifest by allowing love to be the core value of it. I love the people who have taken their (what we call) imperfections or abnormal and didn’t allow it to limit them. They didn’t go to plastic surgery or use magic or spells to try and change it because of what society says isn’t acceptable, instead they use it to glorify God and to let people know that it’s okay and that God made you just the way he wanted you to be. How amazing is our God! Who is like Him! No one! Can His love be compared! Absolutely not!

Marriage: One on One

One on One

Ephesians 5:22-33

Building a relationship with our husbands is mirrored by the relationship we build with our Father. Where is your relationship with the Father? Where is your relationship with your husband? Can your God and your husband trust you with the intimate things or the things close to their heart? This isn’t to say that things are going this way due to it being your fault; it’s just to put things in alignment or perspective. 

As we read Eph 5:22-23, we see how the bride (the church) and the bridegroom (Christ) are supposed to be and Paul relates it to how our marriages are supposed to be. There are guidelines on how the husband is to behave and how the wife is supposed to behave. A lot of marriages are failing in this area; either the husband isn’t loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her or the wife is not submitting and reverencing her husband. 

There are some husbands loving every other female (who’s looking for commitment and don’t care how or who she hurts to get it) instead of the woman he married, treating them like they’re back in the cavemen days, or being mama’s boy. Then in the same lump you have some women who do not submit to their husbands at all because they don’t feel like they should have to because they aren’t saved, talking to them any kind of way in front of other people and in public, thinking they are his momma instead of his wife or running around on their husbands with other men (who don’t want the commitment by the way, just a screw). How does any marriage expect to make it if this is the gist of it? How are couples supposed to build their relationship with these actions (which I only listed a few)? 

It’s time to build our relationships with God FIRST then with our husbands. It’s time to deal with the dysfunction(s) in our marriages in a tasteful, respectful and orderly way. This is not the time to throw stones. It is a time to tell each other how we feel about the treatment we’ve been receiving. Time is out for throwing things under the rug. It’s time to deal with the skeletons in the closet so we can change the way our marriages are functioning. My husband and I often have these talks. We ask each other questions like these from time to time: 1) How are we doing (in our marriage)? 2) Is there anything I can be doing better? 3) Have I offended you or caused you offense? 4) How is our sex life? 5) What are some things I do that gets on your nerves?

After we ask these questions, it opens up a great dialogue. Sometimes it’s great and sometimes it hurts but in the end it’s better for the both of us. We apologize to each other (if and when it’s needed), we laugh about things we said and we handle it in a serious matter. We also have the discussions about our relationship with God. Just like we have to “get it right” with our husbands, we have to “get it right” with our Father. We can’t treat our husbands better than we treat God and they can’t treat us better than they treat God. IT DOES NOT WORK! Build your relationship with God and in turn He will tell you how to build a SUCCESSFUL relationship with your husband. I’ve seen Him to do it. Be blessed and ever increasing in your marriages through Christ.

-         - Keisha Lapsley

Marriage: Decide Today

I have a column in the Sistah, Sistah Newsletter where the editor-in-chief is Catherine Tukes. My column is called The Marriage Circle. I wanted to share this issue with you all. If you would like to subscribe to her newsletter, please leave your email address below and I will give it to her to add you to her email list. Enjoy!

The Marriage Circle

“Decide Today”

Eph 4:17-18

“This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart;”

As I thought upon the newsletter’s theme for this month, the song we used to sing at my old church came to mind; “Where are you in Christ? Where are you in Christ?” I have to ask, where are you in Christ? Your marriage doesn’t have to be in “trouble” to do a self-examination but you can always make it better by doing one. Decide today to take your marriage to another level. 

Reading Ephesians chapter four (and I suggest reading it all) reminded me of how I can apply these teachings to my own marriage. In verses one through six, I realized I was called (as we all are as wives) to walk worthy of the invocation of being a good wife to our husbands. I was called to Douglas Lapsley…LAWD have mercy and what a wonderful calling it is!!! Praise Jesus! Sorry, I had to take a praise break. You are called to yours, whether he is saved or not, whether he does everything right or not, or whether he has hurt you or not. Let’s be real for a moment anyway, all of us have hurt somebody and somebodies more than once in our lives. Let’s stop hanging onto the song, “He hurt me. He did this. He did that,” because so have you. You have spoken words that cut him to his bone and in the natural when a bone is broken sometimes it never heals the way it’s supposed to. 

When we hurt God, He doesn’t throw us away or sings the song we sing. I can’t even remember a time AT ALL that God brought back up something I did wrong and kept rehearsing how it hurt Him. He doesn’t even speak of it. That’s the kind of God we serve! We should serve our husbands in that same way. Our relationship with Jesus Christ (the Anointed One) should be so sound and secure in Him that we don’t rehearse with our husband how they hurt us. It just should not be. If it’s something that you have to keep rehearsing, then again I ask, “Where are you in Christ?”

Today, we have a choice to make and that is to decide to no longer walk as others walk in the vanity of their mind, a darkened understanding, being alienated from God through ignorance because of the blindness of their hearts concerning their marriage. No, YOU be renewed in the spirit of your mind and put on the new man in your marriage. You can do this by putting away: lying, bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, malice and evil speaking, speak the truth (in love), be angry but do not sin, don’t give place to the devil, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, don’t grieve the Holy Spirit, be kind to him, tenderhearted, forgiving, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you (Eph 4:23-32).

Be blessed and cause your marriage to ever increase in Christ!

-          Keisha Lapsley